Satan Responds to Pat Robertson.

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Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so Im all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating.

I may be evil incarnate, but Im no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth — glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle.

Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Havent you seen “Crossroads”? Or “Damn Yankees”? If I had a thing going with Haiti, thered be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox — that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it — Im just saying: Not how I roll. Youre doing great work, Pat, and I dont want to clip your wings — just, come on, youre making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad.

Keep blaming God. Thats working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best,

Satan

via Letter of the day: Haiti suffers, and Robertson sees the hand of Satan | StarTribune.com. from pierre via lancearmstrong

Reading – Why we use cookbooks

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For Esther:

The recipe is a blueprint but also a red herring, a way to do something and a false summing up of a living process that can be handed on only by experience, a knack posing as a knowledge. We say “What’s the recipe?” when we mean “How do you do it?” And though we want the answer to be “Like this!” the honest answer is “Be me!” “What’s the recipe?” you ask the weary pro chef, and he gives you a weary-pro-chef look, since the recipe is the totality of the activity, the real work. The recipe is to spend your life cooking.

Reading - Why we use cookbooks : The New Yorker.

Don’t Be A Hero

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Heroes are damaging to a team because they become a crutch. As soon as you have someone who’s always willing to work at all hours, the motivation from the rest of the team to produce reliable, trouble-free software drops. The hero is a human patch. Sure, you might sit around talking about how reliability is a priority, but in the back of your mind you know that the hero will be there to fix what doesn’t work.

via Alex Payne — Don’t Be A Hero.

Steam Scrambled Eggs

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Those eggs, you see, are the work of renowned New York chef Jody Williams. I ate them last Sunday with my friend Jimmy at her lovely little restaurant, Gottino, and they were so cloud-like and delicious I thought they might float right off the plate. But the best part was how they were made… …they were made with the steam wand of a cappuccino maker. (COLLECTIVE GASP)

via Steam-Scrambled%20Eggs.

Esther found this and I can attest to the deliciousness that ensues

Meet the Man Who Lives on Zero Dollars: Career + Money: Details

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“I wanted to be a sadhu,” Suelo says. “But what good would it do for me to be a sadhu in India? A true test of faith would be to return to one of the most materialistic, money-worshipping nations on earth and be a sadhu there. To be a vagabond in America, a bum, and make an art of it—the idea enchanted me.”

Reading Meet the Man Who Lives on Zero Dollars: Career + Money: Details.

Quitting the Paint Factory by Mark Slouka « adamantine

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Not long ago, at the kind of dinner party I rarely attend, I made the mis­take of admitting that I not only liked to sleep but liked to get at least eight hours a night whenever possible, and that nine would be better still. The reaction – a complex Pinot Noir of nervous laughter displaced by expres­sions of disbelief and condescension – suggested that my transgression had been, on some level, a political one. I was reminded of the time I’d confessed to Roger Angell that I did not much care for baseball.

My comment was immediately rebutted by testimonials to sleeplessness: two of the nine guests confessed to being insomniacs; a member of the Academy of Arts and Letters claimed indignantly that she couldn’t re­member when she had ever gotten eight hours of sleep; two other guests de­clared themselves grateful for five or six. It mattered little that I’d arranged my life differently, and accepted the sacrifices that arrangement entailed. Eight hours! There was something willful about it. Arrogant, even. Suitably chastened, I held my tongue, and escaped alone to tell Thee.

Reading: Quitting the Paint Factory by Mark Slouka « adamantine.

Maybe it was the grand jury investigation?

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From Facebook:

M wouldn’t have voted for Phil Hamilton if he had been running against Al-Qaeda.

Rands In Repose: The Crisis and the Creative

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The panic junkie is the person who is addicted to Crisis and, in the absence of it, will manufacture drama in order to create additional Crisis. Their intent was originally good; they wanted to get stuff done quickly and discovered that the umbrella of a Crisis removed traditional organizational roadblocks. Problem is, they’ve becoming addicted to the power and momentum granted to them by driving the crisis. As soon as the current Crisis appears to have passed, they deflate, thinking, “Blah, back to the normal,” and immediately start looking for another Crisis. If they don’t find one, they create it.

I was one of these people and burned a lot of calories getting a lot done, but management by Crisis is a losing strategy. You become a corporate arsonist — burning through people and process in your apparent endless hurry, but you aren’t actually building anything.

via Rands In Repose: The Crisis and the Creative.

your monkey called

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Then: The Wealth of Nations

Now:  Invisible Hands: The Mysterious Market Forces That Control Our Lives and How to Profit from Them

via your monkey called.

The Bitten Word: Overnight Oatmeal: Steel-Cut Oats in 10 Minutes

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This ingenious recipe for overnight oatmeal makes cooking steel-cut oats a cinch.  The previous night you boil six cups of water, stir in the oatmeal, let boil for 1-minute, turn off the heat and cover.   The next morning, you turn the heat back on and let it boil for 10 minutes.  In our experience, it doesn’t even take that long: after 7 minutes the oatmeal is ready to eat.

via The Bitten Word: Overnight Oatmeal: Steel-Cut Oats in 10 Minutes.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen :: rogerebert.com :: Reviews

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Such are the meager joys. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.

via Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen :: rogerebert.com :: Reviews.

A design and usability blog: Signal vs. Noise (by 37signals)

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In retrospect, all revolutions seem inevitable. Beforehand, all revolutions seem impossible.

Michael McFaul, National Security Council

via A design and usability blog: Signal vs. Noise (by 37signals).

Exclusive: The Future of Facebook Usernames – Anil Dash

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The first web-savvy celebrity in Hollywood will hold a meeting with their marketing team about what it will take to get their preferred username. During this meeting, the smartest person in the room will try to explain the difference between a profile page and a fan page, why there are different processes for getting vanity URLs for each, and why a person or brand doesn’t have control over all the fan pages that can be created about them.

via Exclusive: The Future of Facebook Usernames – Anil Dash.

Damn! Anil Dash has sat in on a few meetings I have been in… nice of him to talk about work like we are a celebrity.

25 And Over « Tomato Nation

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Know how to drive. Know how to read a map. Know how to get around. Know how to change a tire, or whom to call if you can’t manage it, or how to get to a phone if you don’t have a cell phone. We will happily bail you out, until it becomes apparent that it’s what you always need. The possibility of a fingernail breaking or a hairstyle becoming compromised is not grounds for purposeful helplessness.

via 25 And Over « Tomato Nation.

Rules for Time Travelers | Cosmic Variance | Discover Magazine

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We travel into the future all the time, at a fixed rate: one second per second. Stick around, you’ll be in the future soon enough.

via Rules for Time Travelers | Cosmic Variance | Discover Magazine.

Live Your Best Life Ever! | Print Article | Newsweek.com

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Somers sat onstage next to Oprah, who defended her from attack. “Suzanne swears by bioidenticals and refuses to keep quiet. She’ll take on anyone, including any doctor who questions her.”

That would be a lot of doctors. Outside Oprah’s world, there isn’t a raging debate about replacing hormones. Somers “is simply repackaging the old, discredited idea that menopause is some kind of hormone-deficiency disease, and that restoring them will bring back youth,” says Dr. Nanette Santoro, director of reproductive endocrinology at Albert Einstein College of Medicine and head of the Reproductive Medicine Clinic at Montefiore Medical Center.

via Live Your Best Life Ever! | Print Article | Newsweek.com.

Thought for Food

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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

— W. C. Fields

via Thought for Food.

Army Orders Bases: Stop Blocking Twitter, Facebook, Flickr | Danger Room | Wired.com

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All DOIMs (Department of Information Management) will block access to the following sites:

a YouTube, http://www.youtube.com b 1.FM, http://www.1.fm c Pandora, http://www.pandora.com d Photobucket, http://www.photobucket.com e MySpace, http://www.myspace.com f Live365, http://www.live365.com g hi5, http://www.hi5.com h Metacafe, http://www.metacafe.com i MTV, http://www.mtv.com j BlackPlanet, http://www.blackplanet.com k StupidVideos, http://www.stupidvideos.com l Filecabi,http://www. filecabi.net.

via Army Orders Bases: Stop Blocking Twitter, Facebook, Flickr | Danger Room | Wired.com.

Brian Lynch: 30 ROCK is a rip-off of THE MUPPET SHOW!

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RE: Gonzo vs. Tracy Jordan

The insane cast member overflowing with eccentricities? Check. Is in a committed relationship but has a wandering eye? Check. Has to be watched closely or he will hurt himself? Check. Watch this clip from THE MUPPET SHOW and picture Tracy Jordan doing it instead of Gonzo. Oh sure, there might be cursing and Tracy would probably be topless by the end of it, but other than that, Tracy and Gonzo act the exact same. And don’t tell me you’d be surprised if Tracy started dating a chicken during sweeps. In fact, I am going to write that as a spec script.

In 30 ROCK’s defense, the actual Tracy Morgan was ripping off Gonzo’s completely ludicrous antics long before 30 ROCK was on the air.

via Brian Lynch: 30 ROCK is a rip-off of THE MUPPET SHOW!.

Love is like pie

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In regards to Love is like pi…

Love is like Pie: round with a flaky crust, but delicious and tender inside