Esther and I saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls today. If you do not want to have the movie spoiled, do not read on. This is an in-depth and critical review of the movie and no details are spared. Do not read on if you do not want spoilers.

Cast

Harrison Ford

The last time Harrison Ford took the moniker of Indiana Jones in 1989, he was a spry 49. Being 19 years on, his age is starting to show, no longer the youngish looking swashbuckler playing opposite the elder Sean Connery. In preparation for IJ:KCS 1 Harrison “spent three hours a day at a gym, and relied on a high-protein diet of fish and vegetables.”, 2 but age has taken its toll on him. His delivery of the script while for the most part in character, several times seemed off, as though the seen had been shot multiple times, with a better take being cut in later.

Karen Allen

Resprising the role of Marion Ravenwood, Karen Allen, is one of the weakest actors in the film. Her lines seem generally off and the delivery lacks the fire and tenacity that her character was bred with in previous installments. Karen Allen has also aged, although this shift fits the character via the story better than the aging of Harrison Ford.

Shai LeBouf

Indiana’s unknown son, while an inevitable role, was a middle of road choice for this role. It is difficult to cast for an “iconic” role such as this, without banking on a currently famous actor such a LeBouf. Shia’s look and character were well acted, although most of the dialogue his character had the feel of corny fillers similar to Shorty in the previous movies.

Cate Blanchett

Irinia Spalko, the Soviet villaness, was my least favorite of the Indiana Jones villans. “Frank Marshall said Spalko continued the tradition of Indiana having a love-hate relationship ‘with every woman he ever comes in contact with’”3. The problem was, there was no chemistry. Blanchett only managed to have a different expression in the movies final moments. Three guesses as to what was happening in that scene. The stiffness she exuded may have been acted, but in reality it came across as flat and lifeless. Blanchett did not have the attitude or prescence to compete with Elisa Schneider, Rene Belloq, or Mola Ram as an Indiana Jones villan.

Plot

The original 3 Indiana Jones movies were direct descendants from the 1930’s adventure Pulp era much like the Old Time Radio shows, high adventure, seductive women and an air of the supernatural. While IJ:KCS fits those basic categories, the main plot point of the movie skirts the X-Files more than pulp drama.

A Crystal Skull with some undefined albeit highly magnetic power is actually an alien skull and when reunited with the rest of the body, the flying saucer takes off. Getting that point is what fills the rest of the 124 minute run time.

The focus on the alien aspect was very unsettling. While the Temple of Doom was focused on horror aspects of the pulp genres, this one was had a very modern flavor, which was unfortunate. The setup was great, but the punchline of aliens missed the original feel of the series.

Special Effects and Filming Quality

I hate George Lucas. I know the Steven Spielberg directed the film, but George Lucas has transformed every movie he touches in to a CGI disaster. Most stunts are done by humans, in some cases the actors themselves, the rest of the movie is a mess of CGI environments, choreographed fight scenes and Gods damned CGI animals.4

Another gripe that I have, is a little film nerd of me.

While Lucas wanted the movie shot digitally, Spielberg insited on shooting it on film. While I am greatful to Spielberg for sticking to his guns, the quality of film has greatly increased since 1981. The grain in the original trilogy gave it a gritty, B movie feel. IJ:KCS suffers from the same issue as the prequel Star Wars trilogy and the “enhanced” original Star Wars trilogy. It feels too new. The CGI shots look CGI and don’t mix well with real actors. A flaw not in the vision, but the technology that implements it.

General Issues

Lucas is a 50s culture enthusiast. The time frame of IJ:KCS is perfect for him. A little too perfect. I am certain that Lucas wrote in the Diner/Soda Shoppe scene, while being a great catalyst for a chase scene, it was a rather superfluous scene and really only fed the 50s culture feel. That and Shia LeBouf constantly combing his hair, which was even dumber than the Diner scene.

The nuclear test scene was also completely unnecessary. Not only did it defy physics more that I am willing to suspend my beliefs for, but it served little in the way of plot device or transitional scene. It was merely an over the top insertion of gratuitous special effects. And more of the Gods damned CGI animals.5

Having a villan that is not a Nazi is difficult, the Nazis have a universally hateable quality which makes them particularly good bad guys. Obviously, the Nazis have been beaten, so the next logical enemy is the Soviet Union, they have been “beaten”, the country no longer exists: The perfect villan. But that was not the case. Either the acting or the general malaise over the “Red” sentiment killed the Ruskies ability to be a true bad guy. Even the lead Villaness was laughable and not the least bit scary or intimidating.

Lucas does the same style intro to each of the original movies. The Paramount mountain fades into some exotic location, a mountain in the skyline. The letdown in IJ:KCS was that the mountain transition turned into a prarie dog mound.6 Come on

Lastly, the pacing of the film was very rushed. It felt like the writing staff, which includes Lucas, tried to cram a 3 hour movie, paced like the original trilogy, into a tight 124 minute package. Trimming out some of the extraneous scense would have allowed a smoothing out of the choppy transitions. Plus, no wipe transition.

Conclusion

Is this movie an Indiana Jones film in name and main actor only? Yes. Was it an enjoyable film? Yes. Will I add it to my collection? Yes. Will I show it to my children? Only when they are old enough to understand deep personal loss and disappointment, so when they are 22. Showing it to them too early, after showing them the originals, is like dragging puppy out into a busy street and watching what happens. Yes, that is accurate, unless it is a Lucas created CGI puppy.